The Mess

The Mess

This week my twelve year-old daughter, who never ceases to amaze me, donated her hair again to Locks of Love.  Twelve inches, three ponytails, and this was for the third time.  I am super proud of her and can honestly say that this is all her own doing.  She has a heart that wants to serve others, and this is a tangible way she can do so.  


My daughter did not do this, because my husband and I made her do it or guilted her into it.  She did not do it as a result of my husband and I having found the secrets to success in parenting. She does not even do it just to get attention from it. It is not because she is homeschooled that she decides to do these kinds of things.  She loves God, and it is that simple. 


So, you might wonder what kind of parents are behind such an amazing young person.  I have to tell you that it is not pretty.  Though my husband and I love God and attempt to lead lives to please Him, we are far from perfect.  We are a mess.


We do not rise diligently at the crack of dawn before our children are awake to pray for hours and read the Bible before the sun comes up.  In an ideal world we'd like to, but we are a bit unconventional.  Our prayer time and devotional time happens, but it happens at better times for us.   


Though we homeschool and are pleased with how this works for our family, our children have their complaints about school.  There are tears.  Oh, and they cry, too, sometimes. ;) Our days are not completely full of the joys of learning like in all of the homeschool manuals, self-help books, and curriculum.  Our children are smart, but none of them are equivalent to Einstein in the way they function.  Our children don't all start playing beautiful instruments by the age of 3 just to start a travelling family symphony by the age of 6.  They do not always have a joyful attitude, and they have issues controlling their anger and frustration at times.  


We do not buy all of our food organic, and our children do like sweets and plenty of bad-for-you salty snacks.  There is evidence of this on our kitchen floor more times than I'd like to admit. 


We are not nearly as consistent as we'd like to be.  Their schedules are sometimes a wreck.  Our children sometimes stay up way past their bedtime.  They misbehave and have tantrums.  They pick up our bad habits.  They do weird things that don't make any sense to us, and sometimes we find humor in it while sometimes we don't.  


If you walk into our house at any given moment, especially but certainly not limited to the school year, it will be a disaster area.  There will be dust covered stuff, random food lying on the countertops, unfinished sippy cups, toys scattered on the floors, books and curriculum covering the dining room table, and dog hair on the floors.  Oh, and speaking of the dog, if he could talk... well, let's just be glad he can't.  These kinds of conditions can not be pleasant for him.  It's a good thing he loves us.


We have the tendency to multi-task more than we should, and we are not proud of it.  To generalize all of the details (so as not to bore you,) between working, schooling, cleaning, running kids to their activities, church, and volunteering our lives are full.  


Today, I was reading in a book called "Think Orange" by Reggie Joiner:

"Noah had a drinking problem.  Abraham offered his wife to another man. Rebekah schemed with her son to deceive her husband, Isaac.  Jacob's sons sold their brother into slavery.  David had an affair, and his son started a rebellion.  Eli lost total control of how his boys acted in church...Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God filled the pages of Scripture with bad parenting examples to encourage us?  I know God desires for me to be a responsible Christian parent, but my humanness sometimes gets in the way.  When I read the variety of Christian books about parenting, they often make me feel overwhelmed and guilty.  If I consider my own personality quirks, I am not sure I have it in me to be an A+ parent.  When I read the Bible, though, I am actually encouraged, and I am definitely aware that God has a way of doing something incredible in spite of my faults."  

This was encouraging to me.  My expectations of myself are much higher than I can ever possibly live up to while on this earth.  Actually Sue's Always, Never post got me thinking about this, because I can SO relate to Always, Never.  It's nice to be reminded now and then that those who came before me in my faith were pretty flawed, and yet they are in many ways considered heroes of my faith.  It helps me to lighten up and relax.  And, even though my husband and I are more flawed than we sometimes would even like to say out loud, we are a work in progress.  As we press on in this season called "parenting," we hope that we can improve some things about ourselves along the way to be better parents.  It gives us hope, though, that God is not finished with us, and that despite our inadequacies He reminds us through our children that He is working in them, too.  


~Michelle