No, this wasn't something noble, like a protest march for the rights of homeschoolers everywhere. I live in NJ where we have it pretty good. And I'm not sure we care about the rights of homeschoolers everywhere. No, this all started out a few weeks ago with a simple little traffic ticket. And that DEFINITELY happened because I homeschool.
You see, April and May have been beyond hectic. There's the normal push to get in those last important lessons before summer break. There's the call of the outdoors, and children resisting that last push. There's end of the year standardized testing. There's planning for next school year (and co-op sessions). There are spring sports. (Oh man!!!! Are there spring sports!) There are concerts and recitals and practices for concerts and recitals. And all of this adds up to hours in my car. With children who are not always happy to be with me in the car.
So on one of these hectic days, I was driving through a congested little town, with some major squabbling and fussing going on in the back seats, and just as I reached a pedestrian crosswalk, I noticed traffic in the lane next to the curb screeching to a halt and a tiny little old man (possibly with a cane) stepping off the curb. I don't want to sound disrespectful about this gentleman, who might possibly take exception to the words I have used to describe him if he ever stumbles onto this blog and reads about himself, however, he was not big, which is important because I couldn't see him over the vehicles that were next to me, and in fact, I didn't see him until I was partway across the crosswalk. Which led me to make a split-second decision, w/ a quick glance in my rear-view mirror, where I saw a big white car that appeared to be very close to me, and I decided that slamming on my brakes and stopping short might very well lead to getting rear-ended. And really, that gentleman was not going to be reaching my lane any time in the next 60 seconds. So I went through the crosswalk with a police car right behind me.
Yep, he pulled me over and gave me a ticket that would give me a lot of points on my license. And told me that I should contest the ticket and the judge would change the fine to something that would not give me any points. (Ahhhh, the joys of a penal system that makes so much sense.) I did check w/ my girlfriend experts before I followed this advice, and called the number on the ticket to tell them I was going to contest it, and here is where my distracted, homeschooling brain once again failed me. The lady on the other end of the line said "OK, we'll call you." Or she might have said "OK, I'll call you." I'm not 100% sure which it was, but I am QUITE clear about the message that I would be called. This was such a relief to me!! I did not have to even think about this any more until I received a call. Hooray! Back to the homeschool race.
And on Monday, when standardized testing was complete, many recitals and practices and sports practices/games behind me, I took a deep breath, and thought, hmmmm, nobody ever called about that ticket. I should probably call and see what's going on. However, I didn't, and Tuesday evening, my husband brought in the mail, which contained a legal notice. I thought, whew, they scheduled the court date. But those of you who actually know how the legal system works (as opposed to me, who is clearly winging it and not in a good way) know that this was not that. Oh no. This was a notice that an arrest warrant had been sworn out for me (FOR ME!!!!) for failing to show at my court date. Because the court date had been put automatically on the ticket and I should NOT have been waiting for a different one.
I did not panic immediately. I tried to call all of the numbers for the court that I could find. Of course they were all recordings at that time of night. Then I started to google information about arrest warrants. I began to panic, but kept it to a minor panic since part of me realized that this was a $100 bail issue, and surely people writing those pages out in google-land were talking armed robbery. Or drugs or something. I sent a few messages out on the girlfriend network. Full-blown panic set in when the girlfriend who is married to a former police officer said something along the lines of "GO. Smokin' hot husband says GO NOW to the police station and get it straightened out!!" (No, she didn't say smokin' hot husband then, but she says it all the rest of the time, so that's why I added that.) I appreciate that she didn't spell out "or you could spend a night in jail" but frankly, she didn't have to. My
Full-blown panic is not pretty. I did make sure to shower before I left the house because if I was going to be arrested I at least wanted to smell clean and I had just done 3 miles on my elliptical. I was quite sure that nobody shows up at a police station soaked with sweat to turn herself in. I wondered if they would put hand cuffs on me when I had surrendered myself to the police voluntarily. I contemplated if I should smile for my mug shot or not. I briefly regretted watching so much Law & Order in days gone by, as it seemed to be fueling my over-active imagination. My hands trembled a bit on the steering wheel as I drove to the police station. Wanted Person coming off the lam to turn herself in. (I've always wanted to be "on the lam" at least once in my life. But it wasn't as much fun as it sounds.)
And I ended up waiting for 20 minutes or more in the police station lobby until a very nice police officer opened up the lobby window, proceeded to call me "Miss" enough times that I started to find him very attractive, and seemed pretty amused by my state of panic. (For the record, I did not cry.) He said several times that this was not a big deal. I signed a couple of papers, he explained to me very clearly (Thank you, Lord! for somebody who talks to me like I am a very slow person, because I really am at this stage of the game.) when my new court date is, and I only realized later that I had signed my own bail agreement (For $0 - SURREAL!!!) In short, I was feeling pretty good until I turned to walk away and he said "Now keep those papers on you for the next few days because you still could get arrested until the system clears." Wha . . . .?!?!
So. There you have it. How homeschooling is dangerous, almost got me arrested, AND proof that I am completely crazy and not that smart any more.
Although, now that I think about it, if I have a signed bail agreement, I guess I technically WAS arrested????
~Stephanie
Oh my goodness... Your book gets better by the minute. And, might I add, I would buy your book...
ReplyDeleteThanks, M! :) I will have to check on laws about publishing books from jail, just in case. ;) ~S
DeleteI would DEFINITELY buy your book. :)
ReplyDeleteMe too - i think i have now read this 6 times :) I expect you to have a bounty hunter after you to top this in the near future though.
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