I Don't Read Grown-Up Books Anymore

I didn't know it, but my days as a grown-up book reader became numbered when my first child was born.  I remember when she was a few weeks old, getting out The Rhyme Bible and starting her off right.  I was so proud of myself.  After a few days, however, the kid-book thing was getting old.  Breast-feeding seemed like enough work, so I happily passed off the reading-out-loud duties to my husband.  :)

He had been read out-loud to for most of his childhood.  (Well, in between boarding school stints.)  So when he heard news stories on liberal media places like NPR about the importance of reading out loud to your child, he didn't have to think very hard to internalize them.  He happily churned through a kazillion-trillion repetitions of Jamberry and Good Night Moon while I hid in our bedroom and scarfed down some questionable material by Janet Evanovich.  Sigh.  Those were good days.

Then I became a homeschooling mom.  And I fell in love w/ a literature-based curriculum (Sonlight).  I confess now that I originally did this because I thought I would get to read the books to myself and the kids would read the books to themselves, and there would just be a lot of sitting around quietly reading.

Hah.

Anway, what eventually happened is that I learned to love to read out loud to my kids.  (True Confessions moment: it took me a couple of years to get to this place.  Before that, I would find myself pausing in the middle of a sentence I was reading out loud to skim ahead furiously in silence.  I think my oldest might be surprised to go back and read some of the books I read to her back then and realize there aren't actually long pauses built into the book.)  I also discovered this is really, really good for their brains EVEN AFTER THEY KNOW HOW TO READ.  I put that in all caps because I always missed that part of the liberal media news stories before.  So maybe you didn't know that either.

There is a special sweet joy that comes from reading a book to the under-five set when they know it really well.  You can pause and they will fill in the pause.  You can mess up the words and they will correct you.  My favourite game is to put their name in the story, and they shout NOOOOO!!!!  And tell me the right name.  :)

There are a lot of good pictures books out there.  There's also a lot of JUNK!  Oh my.  Nothing brings out my Inner Critic like a poorly written picture book.  I mean, yes, nice pictures are nice, but it's still a book!!  It needs good words!! 

I was recently challenged by a friend to come up w/ lists of books that are on my re-read list.  Well, that list is huge, just because I'm a mom, and can't say no to everything I wish I didn't have to read out loud.  :)  But I thought I'd start out by talking about picture books that I read (and re-read) to my 4yo, w/o crying and whining (on my part).  Since my oldest is 12, I have been reading these books for many years.

• Just to start the list out w/ something unusual, I will mention a book I randomly selected in a used book store just because I had store credit that had to be used and they had precious few children's books: Puff Puff Chugga Chugga by Christopher Wormell.  Oh yes, I also had a little boy and was operating under the assumption that only books about trains would get him interested in reading. (Not the worst assumption, by the way, although the jury is still out on how well it paid off.)  This book is adorable.  Lots of opportunities to play with sounds, a little color recognition, a really big sneeze, and the little train goes home to bed at the end.  When you have little kids, you ALWAYS want somebody going to bed at the end.
• Anything by Virginia Lee Burton, while a bit of a chore to read (IMHO), pays off big-time w/ my boys, and frankly, I think boys need a bit more effort to capture their imaginations, so I don't mind.  OK, well, sometimes I do mind.  Sometimes I LONG for the day when they can read Katy and the Big Snow to themselves and I no longer have to say chug, chug, chug and move my fingers along the roads that Katy plows.  There you have it.  My single flaw.  hah.
• Anything that involves Harry the Dirty Dog.  Harry sometimes becomes a purple dog w/ yellow spots.  Sometimes Tristan the Dog grabs watering can of frogs and sits it next to the Lady Next Door.  But yes, these books are also cute as written.  ;) 
• Anything that involves Frances.  Bedtime for Frances???  LOVE!!!!!!  Bread and Jam for Frances?  I have seriously done this to one of my kids.  I didn't serve him bread and jam for every meal; I served him what we call porridge (thanks to my husband) but what I grew up calling oatmeal.  He lasted a bit longer than Frances did, but he cracked.  Oh yeah, he cracked .  .  .
• Does anybody NOT have Where the Wild Things Are on their list? Well, probably not, and I don't want to be weird, so I guess I better include it. But I do love the subtle humor!
• Horton Hatches An Egg - I'm going to be bold and come right out and admit that I'm not the biggest Dr. Suess fan.  In fact, some of his books are downright tedious.  (I know, you've lost all respect for me now.)  But this book never gets old!  I think about my husband's faithfulness in fatherhood when I read it.  I wonder if I'm a good enough mother when I read it and I'm inspired not to give up, no matter how many times I have told the kids to put their head on their pillow, close their eyes AND STOP TALKING!  I get teary every time I read the line "Because Horton was faithful, 100%." In short, I turn into a complete sap, but you already know it: I'm not normal.

OK, my real love is chapter books, and I'm much more excited to talk about some new ones I just discovered, but that will have to be another post.  Meanwhile, yes, I'm still reading Jamberry and enjoying it.


~Stephanie

Father's Day. Or, "That went well. Don't you think it went well?"

Deciding to break the norm for Father's Day this year, instead of cookout with extended family, i made reservations (but the very word, "reservations" made my skin crawl) at The City Tavern. Highly recommended by my sister, her husband, and some friends. My husband loves American history (seems to be a guy thing...) so i knew he would like it. Lunch, to be followed by a carriage ride through the Old City. In my head this was awesome. Here is what happened.

Got up with 4 of the 5 to make breakfast in bed for the husband. An omelet with tomatoes, chopped up kielbasa from dinner the night before, sharp cheese, and sriracha hot sauce, toast, a smoothie, and coffee. Then egg sandwiches for the 4, and smoothies. We all marched upstairs. Because not just he gets to eat breakfast in our bed. They all needed to. Yup. That always goes well. It really only ended with 2 spilled smoothes, and today i found an egg sandwich in my underwear drawer. Not too bad. After watching him eat (who doesn't want to be watched intently while eating?), he opened presents from the kids - a pocket chain saw (i mean, who doesn't need....a...), Best Dad Phillies tee shirt, beef jerky, and a cup you can freeze. I sat on a pile of *clean* laundry the entire time, since the bed was full of people.

I was on the fence about Church, just because we were going to be out all day. Toddler with a nap is often less than a treat, but toddler without a nap? You are basically asking for it. But, off to Church we went because Mr. Responsible said so. I even wore a skirt, nice top, and - WHAT?! - heels! yes, heels. Now that the little crank loves to walk, i can "enjoy" things of this nature once again, since i can hold her hand while she walks. I always envisioned wearing heels while holding her, and tripping. And maybe someone yelling, "TIMMMBERRRR" as i crashed to the ground. So flats it has been for 18 months. As the service went on, the napless emotions started to run high. 12:15, the designated, "we need to leave so we can..." time, we piled into the car and started for home. The crying began.

Get home, place frantic call to City Tavern trying not to sound insane, "so...is there like...a dress code...because...oh, there's not? great!". *Whew*. 6 year old girl likes to make amazing clothing combinations, 8 year old girl likes to wear dirty clothes that she doesn't believe are dirty. 10 year old is a boy. Enough said. 11 year old girl only seems to own cut-off jeans, black tee shirts, and a Mockingjay pin. I love them all. But until the call, i was a little scared. Husband changed into Best Dad tee - under a green polo shirt, i guess he was giving props to Christmas. Back to the car. This did not go over well with toddler. Crying all the way to Philly. *sinking feeling*

We park, and toddler is happy, because we get to walk 2 blocks to the Tavern - which, i really do highly recommend now myself! - and it is just so fun and amazing! Period dress, great history that your waiter or waitress will give you during your visit. We were waiting for our reservations, when i overhear the host on a phone call, "children? yes, they are welcome...*silence*...no-no, don't worry, we put them on the 2nd floor". For just a moment, i was miffed. Then toddler tried to knock over a candlestick and i was totally fine with the 2nd floor. It was beautiful, historicky, charming...food was amazing. Of course our waiter had a huge red bruise/cut on his nose, and i was giving 6yr old the evil-eye the entire time to NOT. SAY. ANYTHING. 10 minutes after being seated, toddler is ticked. Crying again.

We walk around, i say things in a way-too-cheery tone, pointing out obvious things to her to keep her from crying. Food comes, i grabbed bites in between walking around - after a piece of bread and biscuit were angrily thrown across the room by 18month old, sitting was OUT.
"Do you want a fry?" - fry on the floor.
"Want some peas?" - peas were spit/puked down my shirt, can't blame her.
"Want some of the turkey pie?" - bare toddler foot is placed into my pie.
I still ate it. It was delicious. Her feet are mostly clean. Our time there ended with me sitting her in a window, while she tried to catch or touch a fly.

Time for a carriage ride - this, i thought, surely toddler would enjoy. Not thinking that if she can't see the horse, she doesn't know it's there. And no longer wants to sit still. 10 minutes in (thank God it was just the 20 minute ride) crying starts. I gave her gum. We talked about ice cream, birds, and kittens. At some point, 6 year old and 8 year old decide to switch seats, and 6 year old almost fell out of the carriage. Ride over, time for ice cream, we walked *key for keeping toddler happy* to Benjamin's Best...a chocolate banana, orange creamsicle, chocolate, chocolate chip mint, strawberry, and peach AND peanut butter cup. I had to get two flavors, since i was sharing and all. Amazing. Again, highly recommend - the owner makes it fresh, makes up flavors too!

Then it was time to go home - by way of my parents house to let the kids run around with their Uncle and cousins - i guess really, all things considered, it was a perfect day after all. Lots of breath holding, quite a bit of crying, great food, lots of laughing, copious amounts of sweat, and best of all, spending time with our family and being thankful for a husband who loves his real job as Daddy.

~Sue

Inside My Not-So-Designer Purse

My son has been potty-trained for many months.  For less than two months, I have joyfully put the diaper bags away and pulled out my grown-up purses.  None of them are great purses.  Definitely NOT cool designer purses.  I got this one on clearance at Target.  (And, I know that they say that you should carry a purse in addition to your diaper bag, but I never do that.)  After clearing out mostly trash- that my children give ME instead of finding a trashcan?- this was what was left:  

Well, there's still some trash, I admit.  

1) Wallet

2) Elmo toy thermometer

3) Big Bird toy otoscope

4) M&M's on the bottom of my purse amongst the trash (Maybe they're still good?) 

5) Dirty napkin

6) Compact

7) My son's slap bracelet

8) Deoderant (because I sweat a lot and smell)

9) Granola bar wrapper

10) Goldfish in a baggie (some leaked out and the grease from the 

goldfish managed to destroy an important receipt or two) 

11) Empty M&M wrapper (And, no I did not win the contest on the wrapper. I just bought the M&M's to console me after grocery shopping.)

12) Pen

13) Empty gum wrapper, since my kids take all of my gum.

14)Random brochures to keep my littlest one happy that we got at our last Longwood Gardens field trip a month ago

15) CVS coupons that could be expired.  Or that I may never use.  

I'd like to say that this is unusual, but it is not.  

Especially since having children almost 13 years ago. 

Although this disturbs me, there are things that disturb me more.  

But, maybe I'll just get rid of that purse.  

Oh yeah... I will... 

Because in about four months, I will put my not-so-designer purse away 

and pull out the diaper bags again.  :)




~Michelle

And then the baby sleeps, so i stay up worrying...sounds about right.

Last night was a poop sandwich. Eloquent, i know. It just was. Little cranky-muffin was up every hour on the hour...crying...i would get up, do the Mom thing (yes, this means still nursing an almost 18 month old, whatevs), put her down, tip-toe out of the room....literally whispering to myself, "please leave me alone now", then i proceeded to trip over the shopping cart the husband said we HAD to buy her. Just because she was cute pushing it at Target.

The cart and blurry #5

Then, *stand still, not breathing*....nothing noise-wise from the crib, i continue stealthily out of the room. Slloooooowly shut the door, go climb into bed. Husband explodes from a certain end. Mmm-hmm. Then i'm laying there, gagging, and squishing my eyes shut, trying to make myself go to sleep really fast.

Cranky-muffin is silent....i can sleep....Then it happens. The thinking. Did i pay whatever bill yet? (um, yeah, no, i did not) Cold wash of fear as i think that i totally did not buy curriculum for the next school year yet either. Are they at grade level? Maybe we should do school through the summer....Why did i say no to coloring with 6yr old? What was i even doing that was so important today! JUST COLOR WITH HER! Why did i angrily react to son re-enacting the entire Phillies game for me and saying, "right, mom? right?", about 50 thousand times? Who cares, he just wanted to talk and tell me about something he loves. Argh. Oh man, i know didn't spend enough time with 11yr old daughter, who will soon (because of me not spending time with her) not be interested in spending time with me, and will then spin in a downward circle of drug use and alcoholism. All because i didn't hang out with her, and talk about her favorite part in The Hunger Games. For the 800th time. My 8yr old daughter will surely grow up thinking she was unloved...because she is the quiet one, the one who does not get into trouble...so sometimes, i'm like, "wait...where IS she?"...and she's doing cartwheels in the backyard. And....here's the big one. I don't talk about God enough with them. We don't spend enough time reading the Bible, learning more, memorizing verses...we just don't. It's all my fault.

Why does night bring on this immense guilt about how i spent my day? So much so, that i can't even sleep! I started thinking about how last year at the pool we go to, a boy slipped on the high dive and fell into the pool - JUST missing the cement. And how that could have been my boy. And what if he falls today? What if he dies? And all i did was get annoyed with him, tell him to stop being loud, and i didn't kiss his sweaty boy face and hold his sweaty boy hand at night when we prayed, because he has driven me insane all day, and i just want it OVER with....i just want them all to go to bed, because i am "off the clock" mentally. I laid there crying. No joke. Just doing that silent, shaky, sobbing thing - my ears were full of tears, wet hair, wet pillow. Yikes. Good times.

But how do you do it....how do you live every day, every minute, in a loving way towards your kids? I WANT TO! i do. I love them more than anything. They are each a miracle, amazing, special...But wow. It is a really hard part of life! But i waaaaant to *whining*. I want to be that Mom, who is interested in everything, hugs constantly, never is short with the kids, never just goes, "yeah", or "mm-hmm" in THAT voice....you know the one. The kind of high, placating tone that your Mom might have made those same noises to YOU in as a kid...i just want to be present, you know? Enjoy them, where they are, in the moment. Not say, "ok, in a minute" - which i totally just said because 6yr old "needs" hot tea. :/ If something happens to me, i want them to remember i loved them SO much...not that i was some lady who screamed all the time. So that's it for now. I just want to work on this part of me...but i also want them to go to bed at 8:30pm and not speak to me until 8:30am. Hmm....
~Sue

The Mess

The Mess

This week my twelve year-old daughter, who never ceases to amaze me, donated her hair again to Locks of Love.  Twelve inches, three ponytails, and this was for the third time.  I am super proud of her and can honestly say that this is all her own doing.  She has a heart that wants to serve others, and this is a tangible way she can do so.  


My daughter did not do this, because my husband and I made her do it or guilted her into it.  She did not do it as a result of my husband and I having found the secrets to success in parenting. She does not even do it just to get attention from it. It is not because she is homeschooled that she decides to do these kinds of things.  She loves God, and it is that simple. 


So, you might wonder what kind of parents are behind such an amazing young person.  I have to tell you that it is not pretty.  Though my husband and I love God and attempt to lead lives to please Him, we are far from perfect.  We are a mess.


We do not rise diligently at the crack of dawn before our children are awake to pray for hours and read the Bible before the sun comes up.  In an ideal world we'd like to, but we are a bit unconventional.  Our prayer time and devotional time happens, but it happens at better times for us.   


Though we homeschool and are pleased with how this works for our family, our children have their complaints about school.  There are tears.  Oh, and they cry, too, sometimes. ;) Our days are not completely full of the joys of learning like in all of the homeschool manuals, self-help books, and curriculum.  Our children are smart, but none of them are equivalent to Einstein in the way they function.  Our children don't all start playing beautiful instruments by the age of 3 just to start a travelling family symphony by the age of 6.  They do not always have a joyful attitude, and they have issues controlling their anger and frustration at times.  


We do not buy all of our food organic, and our children do like sweets and plenty of bad-for-you salty snacks.  There is evidence of this on our kitchen floor more times than I'd like to admit. 


We are not nearly as consistent as we'd like to be.  Their schedules are sometimes a wreck.  Our children sometimes stay up way past their bedtime.  They misbehave and have tantrums.  They pick up our bad habits.  They do weird things that don't make any sense to us, and sometimes we find humor in it while sometimes we don't.  


If you walk into our house at any given moment, especially but certainly not limited to the school year, it will be a disaster area.  There will be dust covered stuff, random food lying on the countertops, unfinished sippy cups, toys scattered on the floors, books and curriculum covering the dining room table, and dog hair on the floors.  Oh, and speaking of the dog, if he could talk... well, let's just be glad he can't.  These kinds of conditions can not be pleasant for him.  It's a good thing he loves us.


We have the tendency to multi-task more than we should, and we are not proud of it.  To generalize all of the details (so as not to bore you,) between working, schooling, cleaning, running kids to their activities, church, and volunteering our lives are full.  


Today, I was reading in a book called "Think Orange" by Reggie Joiner:

"Noah had a drinking problem.  Abraham offered his wife to another man. Rebekah schemed with her son to deceive her husband, Isaac.  Jacob's sons sold their brother into slavery.  David had an affair, and his son started a rebellion.  Eli lost total control of how his boys acted in church...Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God filled the pages of Scripture with bad parenting examples to encourage us?  I know God desires for me to be a responsible Christian parent, but my humanness sometimes gets in the way.  When I read the variety of Christian books about parenting, they often make me feel overwhelmed and guilty.  If I consider my own personality quirks, I am not sure I have it in me to be an A+ parent.  When I read the Bible, though, I am actually encouraged, and I am definitely aware that God has a way of doing something incredible in spite of my faults."  

This was encouraging to me.  My expectations of myself are much higher than I can ever possibly live up to while on this earth.  Actually Sue's Always, Never post got me thinking about this, because I can SO relate to Always, Never.  It's nice to be reminded now and then that those who came before me in my faith were pretty flawed, and yet they are in many ways considered heroes of my faith.  It helps me to lighten up and relax.  And, even though my husband and I are more flawed than we sometimes would even like to say out loud, we are a work in progress.  As we press on in this season called "parenting," we hope that we can improve some things about ourselves along the way to be better parents.  It gives us hope, though, that God is not finished with us, and that despite our inadequacies He reminds us through our children that He is working in them, too.  


~Michelle

But...i HAD to eat all the chips, so they won't be there tomorrow.

Just when i think i have figured out this fitness, healthy lifestyle, exercise thing...IT happens. A holiday weekend. A birthday party. An unexpected bill. A sick kiddo that keeps me up all night. And then, the inevitable falling off of the health wagon. And smashing the health wagon with a sledgehammer. A sledgehammer that is made of candy, chips, 8 pieces of toast with butter, peanut butter, and honey.

I texted my husband (yes, the smokin' hot one) Monday, around 8am, that i was throwing the towell in on this week, health-wise. When you have a sick child, there are no workouts. There isn't time to make weird (i mean yummy) measured breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. You revert to grabbing handfuls of whatever and missing workouts, and gravitating back to your fat jeans. Or your husbands flannel pj pants. Or the maternity capri jeans that you found under your bed, covered in dust bunnies and what appears to be a family of dead worms. Pop those bad boys on, and you're ready for some more toast. Seriously, try that toast. Insane.

My husband quickly texted back, "It's too soon to give up on the week at 8:00am on a Monday, you can do this, i love you.", which in my tired state, i took as, "stop being fat and make good choices, your night couldn't have been that bad - blaa-blaa-blaa". And in my mind, i had a whole argument with him...one where i text back, "Ok, let's trade lives and see how you feel about that. YOU are with grown-ups every day. YOU can go to a gym and have uninterrupted workouts for 2 hours a day. You get to buy Starbucks, and walk around the city, and dress nice and...YOU. SLEEP. AT. NIGHT.". Gosh i'm a sweet lady.  Not vindictive in the least.

But i text back, "We'll see, love you, honey", instead. Twenty minutes (and 8 peices of toast) later, i realize, he was just trying to be encouraging in the man-way. He knows i have been working hard, and doesn't want me to give up. He does NOT think i am fat, even if i was circus side show size, he would not think that. He loves me no-matter what, and thinks i am perfect. And i love that! I do not love how quickly i go into crazy, unreasonable, fight club mode in my head. But a large part of it goes hand in hand with not taking (or not being able to take) time for myself - which is usually in the form of a workout, and taking the time to set up my own meals.

It's just sometimes, real life doesn't allow for that. I know it will pass, and i'll get back in the swing of things. The key is not going to the point, and trust me, i have done this too many times to count, where i give up - start resenting everything, everyone, and playing this weird blame game in my head about all of it! I think things like, "it must be nice to be able to have a gym membership", "must be nice to do what you want, when you want", "must be nice to have a babysitter whenever you need one". When really, i just need to TAKE the time. Just take it. Be a little "selfish". And not feel guilty about it. I think there are some people out there who like to make you feel bad for taking time for yourself, when it's something they personally wouldn't do...they don't put together that everyone does that differently. I don't take naps. I don't go to a salon, or have frequent "girls nights". I just want 90 minutes a day to be a sweaty, disgusting mess, and pretend that i am going to end up looking like someone in a fitness competition.

But today, today i am eating a cold pizza turnover - while, and this is important - i look at pictures of Faith Hill...and i think, "she totally eats pizza turnovers....yup...". Back at it tomorrow. Or next Monday. Whatever. It'll happen. And now i don't have that pizza turnover to tempt me.
~Sue

The Top Ten Joys of Summer

Top Ten Joys of Summer

by Michelle

 10. We have central air and access to a pool. 

9. The nerdy part of me enjoys looking over fresh, curriculum for the next school year and preparing lessons, schedules, etc... 

8. We can sleep in. 

7. I can delve into all of the recreational books that I've wanted to read during the school year but couldn't. 

6. Frozen. yogurt. 

5. The fact that my house is the cleanest and most organized in the summer might be somewhat depressing during January when I'm in the thick of the school year with my kids.  In the summer however, this is a precious joy that I hold sacred.  Even if the rest of my family could care less.

4. I love that our homeschooling family is done our school year in June.  Sure, we start up again at the end of August, but I love the summer break as much as the kids. Maybe more.  It rejuvenates me, and makes me recharged to begin another homeschool year in September.

3. Fresh produce!

2. I love the relaxing time with my family.  Whether we are enjoying vacations, day trips, or just hanging out at home or the pool, the pace of summer  with my family is refreshing.

1. Although my kids go to camp and join in on their share of recreational activities in the summer, I LOVE that we try not to overschedule our summers just for the sake of "keeping the kids busy." I love when they are "keeping busy" writing stories, digging for worms, or inventing some kind of contraption with things they found in our recycling bin.  I love that they get to "be kids" in the summer.  There will be plenty of time for being a grown up, and I love the less structured summer time where I get to watch my kids just. be. kids.  This is definitely without a doubt what brings me the most joy in the summer.