Killers, Pools, "Naptime", and i wish i was 20 again.

Today's episode of, "Summer Joys" brought to you by Excedrin and marshmallows.

Hmm. Where to start.

Shall i begin this journey with the soda spill on the coffee table by my son, that was in turn, mopped up by the 18m old with pizza? Or the marshmallows, bitten in half and stuck to a wall in the kitchen. Or the 6yr old who "hears sounds" all the time, and will come screaming from other rooms, or refuse to go to sleep without being threatened. Or the pool that gets filled up for the kids, only to have them all come inside the house. Or the popsicle wrappers that no one left all over the place. Hello, ants. Or the nap that is really just 18m old screaming and throwing things out of her crib. No fear, she will fall asleep *JUST* when i was about to get her up, so we can go to the store. To buy a new hose....because i bought the hose last year, and in spite of my son saying, "Mom, seriously, we NEED a longer one than 20 feet", in my head, i was all, "pshhh....what do YOU know, you're 9", and bought the one that was 20 feet, and it only goes...well...20 feet. And apparently, though in my head our yard is supa-small, it's bigger than 20 feet. And if i want to keep the grass-rot-death-smell-Biblical plague of flies from happening, i have to keep strategically moving the pool around. But, because of my brilliant hose purchase, i can't. And i'm a little ticked because no one is even out in the pool that i just dumped, cleaned, moved, and refilled.

No one left this here.

Mickey CLEARLY did this.

Summer also brings me joys, like reading...reading books for ME-ME-MEEEE!!! Which, depending on what was given to me at Christmas or laying around, can range from frun Janet Evanovich books, to books by James Rollins, to my husbands favorite books by Ted Bell (ok, throwing this one out, any ladies out there notice that we will "give in" and read their books that they tell us are amazing, but they never-ever read ours?) to a nice, cozy tale of a serial killer that i can't put down. And now i am thinking i need to vary my daily routine, burn all our trash, carry a weapon, and get ADT. And never-ever trust someone in a cast who is all, "excuse me miss, can you help me with my groceries?". No. I can't. In fact, i am going to throw my groceries at you - hopefully it's a day when i bought alot of canned goods...because, apparently, i am living in the 1950's - and scream, "RUN" to my children.

You can pretend these are smart books that normal homeschool Mommies read. They are all about curriculum.

Summer also brings me MORE joys, i know, i know...MORE than what i just described? yes. Summer brings to me the magic, splendor, and wonder of wearing a swimsuit in public. Who doesn't love that. I didn't mind when i was 20. I even pulled it off after a few kids. Now...well, do i need to really say more than the fact that it is made by Spanx? And that is great. It's good to be sucked in. But sad that all this ain't gonna suck itself in anymore. Yeah, yeah, i had that "take time" post. I was bordering on being in great shape "for a mom of 5" a month or so ago. But then...then, the untimely death of motivation (you know, except for at night, after i ate everything, when i am like, "YEAH! tomorrow it's ON!").Whatever. NOW i have a Spanx swimsuit, and i keep eating ice cream and hamburgers, and the stitching in this swimsuit is screaming. If it goes...look out. Keep your kids and small dogs inside.

This was after i was all, "IF YOU DON'T GET IN THAT POOL"...

Peace out, Mammas:) ~Sue

But...i HAD to eat all the chips, so they won't be there tomorrow.

Just when i think i have figured out this fitness, healthy lifestyle, exercise thing...IT happens. A holiday weekend. A birthday party. An unexpected bill. A sick kiddo that keeps me up all night. And then, the inevitable falling off of the health wagon. And smashing the health wagon with a sledgehammer. A sledgehammer that is made of candy, chips, 8 pieces of toast with butter, peanut butter, and honey.

I texted my husband (yes, the smokin' hot one) Monday, around 8am, that i was throwing the towell in on this week, health-wise. When you have a sick child, there are no workouts. There isn't time to make weird (i mean yummy) measured breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. You revert to grabbing handfuls of whatever and missing workouts, and gravitating back to your fat jeans. Or your husbands flannel pj pants. Or the maternity capri jeans that you found under your bed, covered in dust bunnies and what appears to be a family of dead worms. Pop those bad boys on, and you're ready for some more toast. Seriously, try that toast. Insane.

My husband quickly texted back, "It's too soon to give up on the week at 8:00am on a Monday, you can do this, i love you.", which in my tired state, i took as, "stop being fat and make good choices, your night couldn't have been that bad - blaa-blaa-blaa". And in my mind, i had a whole argument with him...one where i text back, "Ok, let's trade lives and see how you feel about that. YOU are with grown-ups every day. YOU can go to a gym and have uninterrupted workouts for 2 hours a day. You get to buy Starbucks, and walk around the city, and dress nice and...YOU. SLEEP. AT. NIGHT.". Gosh i'm a sweet lady.  Not vindictive in the least.

But i text back, "We'll see, love you, honey", instead. Twenty minutes (and 8 peices of toast) later, i realize, he was just trying to be encouraging in the man-way. He knows i have been working hard, and doesn't want me to give up. He does NOT think i am fat, even if i was circus side show size, he would not think that. He loves me no-matter what, and thinks i am perfect. And i love that! I do not love how quickly i go into crazy, unreasonable, fight club mode in my head. But a large part of it goes hand in hand with not taking (or not being able to take) time for myself - which is usually in the form of a workout, and taking the time to set up my own meals.

It's just sometimes, real life doesn't allow for that. I know it will pass, and i'll get back in the swing of things. The key is not going to the point, and trust me, i have done this too many times to count, where i give up - start resenting everything, everyone, and playing this weird blame game in my head about all of it! I think things like, "it must be nice to be able to have a gym membership", "must be nice to do what you want, when you want", "must be nice to have a babysitter whenever you need one". When really, i just need to TAKE the time. Just take it. Be a little "selfish". And not feel guilty about it. I think there are some people out there who like to make you feel bad for taking time for yourself, when it's something they personally wouldn't do...they don't put together that everyone does that differently. I don't take naps. I don't go to a salon, or have frequent "girls nights". I just want 90 minutes a day to be a sweaty, disgusting mess, and pretend that i am going to end up looking like someone in a fitness competition.

But today, today i am eating a cold pizza turnover - while, and this is important - i look at pictures of Faith Hill...and i think, "she totally eats pizza turnovers....yup...". Back at it tomorrow. Or next Monday. Whatever. It'll happen. And now i don't have that pizza turnover to tempt me.
~Sue