The tension breaker post. Because the "Memories" one could make things get awkward for a while:)

Um, i know you aren't supposed to compare kids....but let's just say Stinkbug is at the level of my dear son when he was a toddler with talking. Where i was just about to take him to the Dr, and ask what was wrong when he finally started at 2 & 1/2. He would yell, "Deeedeeeee" which meant anything. You were treated to the joy of trying to figure it out. I don't walk around saying that, i so i have no idea where he got it from. Or he would make these super-special sounds when he was happy or angry that sounded like he had asthma and couldn't breath. People would stop and stare, and ask if i had his inhaler. Truth.

My girls, (mainly the 11yr old, OF COURSE - because she was the first and i was in a psychotic Mommy contest with other Mommies and all the things they would say their child was doing) was speaking perfectly by 18 months, tons of words, sentences, singing songs...my 8yr old and 6yr old girls were talking by now too. Even if it was just a jumble of words, they were real words. Not little miss crankypants.

Don't get me wrong, she says sorta normal stuff - Mommy, Daddy, Baby...you get the idea.

With 4 older siblings, she pretty much always gets what she wants anyway, plus more. People tell me there is no point to her really talking. But sometimes i think that is what they SAY when secretly they are thinking, "maaaaybe you should have her tested and get your boob out of her face every time she cries". I shall give you an idea of the conversations that occur between me and 18month old boss of the family.

Me: "you want a cup?"
boss: *screeching and blaa-blaa-blaa*
Me: "i guess that means no...you want a granola bar?"
boss: *angry screeching and garbled squawking*
Me: "geez, ok, that's a bigtime no. um...i don't know what you want. WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT. do you want a margarita and guacamole?"
boss: *happy noises and laughing*
Me: "WHAT?! no. you are crazy. how about your blanket and a cookie?"
boss: *clapping and smiles*

But today, today she *clearly* said, "Oh TOOOODLES!!!" when Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was on. And it was adorable. The kind of adorable where i made a RIDICULOUS scene, clapped and hugged her...Maybe the time has come, and she will say things. Things that make sense. Not this Helen Keller mumbo-jumbo that has been going on for months. Then i texted the husband, told him, said i would record it. And she won't say it now. She smiled and went, "aaugh blaa blaa baby".

REALLY???

Yup. So, that's all for now. I have to go clean up rice crispies and honey that have been glued to the carpet and coffee table for...like a week.
~Sue

Father's Day. Or, "That went well. Don't you think it went well?"

Deciding to break the norm for Father's Day this year, instead of cookout with extended family, i made reservations (but the very word, "reservations" made my skin crawl) at The City Tavern. Highly recommended by my sister, her husband, and some friends. My husband loves American history (seems to be a guy thing...) so i knew he would like it. Lunch, to be followed by a carriage ride through the Old City. In my head this was awesome. Here is what happened.

Got up with 4 of the 5 to make breakfast in bed for the husband. An omelet with tomatoes, chopped up kielbasa from dinner the night before, sharp cheese, and sriracha hot sauce, toast, a smoothie, and coffee. Then egg sandwiches for the 4, and smoothies. We all marched upstairs. Because not just he gets to eat breakfast in our bed. They all needed to. Yup. That always goes well. It really only ended with 2 spilled smoothes, and today i found an egg sandwich in my underwear drawer. Not too bad. After watching him eat (who doesn't want to be watched intently while eating?), he opened presents from the kids - a pocket chain saw (i mean, who doesn't need....a...), Best Dad Phillies tee shirt, beef jerky, and a cup you can freeze. I sat on a pile of *clean* laundry the entire time, since the bed was full of people.

I was on the fence about Church, just because we were going to be out all day. Toddler with a nap is often less than a treat, but toddler without a nap? You are basically asking for it. But, off to Church we went because Mr. Responsible said so. I even wore a skirt, nice top, and - WHAT?! - heels! yes, heels. Now that the little crank loves to walk, i can "enjoy" things of this nature once again, since i can hold her hand while she walks. I always envisioned wearing heels while holding her, and tripping. And maybe someone yelling, "TIMMMBERRRR" as i crashed to the ground. So flats it has been for 18 months. As the service went on, the napless emotions started to run high. 12:15, the designated, "we need to leave so we can..." time, we piled into the car and started for home. The crying began.

Get home, place frantic call to City Tavern trying not to sound insane, "so...is there like...a dress code...because...oh, there's not? great!". *Whew*. 6 year old girl likes to make amazing clothing combinations, 8 year old girl likes to wear dirty clothes that she doesn't believe are dirty. 10 year old is a boy. Enough said. 11 year old girl only seems to own cut-off jeans, black tee shirts, and a Mockingjay pin. I love them all. But until the call, i was a little scared. Husband changed into Best Dad tee - under a green polo shirt, i guess he was giving props to Christmas. Back to the car. This did not go over well with toddler. Crying all the way to Philly. *sinking feeling*

We park, and toddler is happy, because we get to walk 2 blocks to the Tavern - which, i really do highly recommend now myself! - and it is just so fun and amazing! Period dress, great history that your waiter or waitress will give you during your visit. We were waiting for our reservations, when i overhear the host on a phone call, "children? yes, they are welcome...*silence*...no-no, don't worry, we put them on the 2nd floor". For just a moment, i was miffed. Then toddler tried to knock over a candlestick and i was totally fine with the 2nd floor. It was beautiful, historicky, charming...food was amazing. Of course our waiter had a huge red bruise/cut on his nose, and i was giving 6yr old the evil-eye the entire time to NOT. SAY. ANYTHING. 10 minutes after being seated, toddler is ticked. Crying again.

We walk around, i say things in a way-too-cheery tone, pointing out obvious things to her to keep her from crying. Food comes, i grabbed bites in between walking around - after a piece of bread and biscuit were angrily thrown across the room by 18month old, sitting was OUT.
"Do you want a fry?" - fry on the floor.
"Want some peas?" - peas were spit/puked down my shirt, can't blame her.
"Want some of the turkey pie?" - bare toddler foot is placed into my pie.
I still ate it. It was delicious. Her feet are mostly clean. Our time there ended with me sitting her in a window, while she tried to catch or touch a fly.

Time for a carriage ride - this, i thought, surely toddler would enjoy. Not thinking that if she can't see the horse, she doesn't know it's there. And no longer wants to sit still. 10 minutes in (thank God it was just the 20 minute ride) crying starts. I gave her gum. We talked about ice cream, birds, and kittens. At some point, 6 year old and 8 year old decide to switch seats, and 6 year old almost fell out of the carriage. Ride over, time for ice cream, we walked *key for keeping toddler happy* to Benjamin's Best...a chocolate banana, orange creamsicle, chocolate, chocolate chip mint, strawberry, and peach AND peanut butter cup. I had to get two flavors, since i was sharing and all. Amazing. Again, highly recommend - the owner makes it fresh, makes up flavors too!

Then it was time to go home - by way of my parents house to let the kids run around with their Uncle and cousins - i guess really, all things considered, it was a perfect day after all. Lots of breath holding, quite a bit of crying, great food, lots of laughing, copious amounts of sweat, and best of all, spending time with our family and being thankful for a husband who loves his real job as Daddy.

~Sue

Always Never...

That is my mood this week. My house is always NEVER clean. My kids are always NEVER in the mood to learn, be kind, or be clean. I realize none of this is true (about the kids, not the house - THAT is true.), but it feels true sometimes. For instance, i swept the floor, which already needs to be swept again, and in the pile?

-a naked barbie
-5 popsicle wrappers
-chewed gum
-disturbing amounts of hair
-cheerios
-legos
-corn

This happens every. day. We own a trash can, many of them. But things are thrown on the floor. Usually causing me to become overwhelmed with emotions and be holding back very angry, hurt, and frustrated tears, and start mentally saying things i can't say out loud. I know, i know, i shouldn't think those things either, but it happens. Messiness causes me to feel more crazy than normal. And since our house is almost always in some state of extreme mess, i guess i'm not sure what it's like to feel normal. If you open closets, you are greeted by an avalanche - depending on what closet, you get different results. Most of the time, you can't see the floors in the kids bedrooms. There are splatters of i don't know what on every surface. Baseball gear everywhere. 4 bikes and a jog stroller IN. MY. LIVINGROOM. I just want a clean house. Apparently, no one else feels the same.

Also on the always never list? Feeling like i know what i am doing with homeschooling. This is all we have ever done. I should have it in the bag. And some days, i feel pretty good. THEN...you get around those Moms. The ones who are teaching their 1yr old the art of hieroglyphics on real papyrus sent from Cairo, their 3yr old how to speak fluent Hebrew while they recreate the temple scene where Jesus knocked over the store tables in clay (to be later put in the fire kiln they MADE, glazed and made into a statue..*sigh*), the 6 year old does advanced calculus, plays the harp, and gives lectures at the art museum, and the 8 yr old has a college degree and is preparing to go on to medical school, and just to put more salt in the wound - they are all happy. They love to learn. They want to learn. And that Moms house is clean. I'm not even kidding when i say i sometimes drive around longer after these "play dates" because i don't want to go home to my messy house. I don't know how they do it. I make myself feel better saying, "they don't have 5 kids...they don't have a toddler"...but usually, they do. And they make it work. Gloriously.

Oh, and i have also been known to go on Facebook or Amazon on my phone when a group of wonder-Moms start talking curriculum. Because i always never know what they are even talking about.

Wonder-Mom, "Did you try the new level of science busters, phase 6, with the block of learning charts, number settings, pyramid set-up, and extra blaaa blaaa blaaa"
Me, *thinking*, "well hello, Amazon...yes, i do need k-cups and a yellow scarf".

And then we get home from these play dates, i open the door, get smacked in the face with an aroma i can't figure out (never a good one), i get coffee, take 3 ibuprofen....and maybe i watch Housewives of New Jersey, and wish i had a ridiculous tan, ridiculous nails, and fun clothes. Because you know what else? I always never look nice - for more than about 5 minutes. I sweat. I have a toddler. I spill my coffee. I get oatmeal wiped on me while said toddler smiles.

I don't even have a point with writing this today...i just wonder if anyone else feels like this. Where you are always hoping and waiting for the "perfect" to start, but in reality, you need to accept the giant, sticky, sweaty, mess that your life is. And...ugh...here it comes... ENJOY it. Easier said than done. But i'm trying.
~Sue